Why can”t I find a stable partner?

You have had many romantic relationships, but none have ended well. Or, perhaps, you have been in a relationship a few times – or not at all – because you are waiting for the right person and he never comes. What am I doing wrong? Why don”t I have a stable partner? As we age, we look for other things in life and one of them is to stop having many affairs and find that person who will share his life with us, with whom to grow and form bonds. There is no exact science for love, but if you want to have a stable partner there are a number of things you should avoid. In this article we tell you what to do and what not to do if you want to have a stable partner.

Things to avoid if you want to have a stable partner

It must be clear that each person is different, with their tastes, their way of being and customs, and therefore not everyone fits in the same with others. Also, tastes can change. If the relationship ends because one of the two parties has stopped being in love, then there is little solution. However, there are a number of things that can be avoided to make your relationship as long-lasting as possible.

We are going to give you a series of notes that you should avoid both for a first date and for the relationship, always knowing that you have to be yourself at all times.

Be a heart breaker

If you want to find a stable partner, you have to leave behind the stage of one for all and all for one. When you want a serious relationship, being with a different person every day doesn”t help. Of course, you have to meet people, but if your thing is one-night stands or dates for a while, it will not lead to more. Bother to get to know the person, invest time in it. The only way to forge bonds is to get to know each other little by little, in a day you will not know who that person really is.

Talk only and only about you

You have to love yourself, but self-love is one thing and continually praising yourself is another. If you don”t let the other person talk, you won”t be able to know what they are like, what their tastes or hobbies are. You have to have a conversation in which both of you are participatory.

In a relationship you also have to take care of this. You have your problems, but so does the other person. You have to know how to listen to each other and support each other.

Always be right

As we have said before, you have to know how to listen and this is very important when facing a discussion. You may be right but you should also listen to what the other person says because sometimes we are wrong even though we are very sure that we are right. Always being right will only make the other person tire of not being valued or heard.


It”s essential. You cannot form a relationship with another person whom you do not respect.

Self esteem

As important as respect is your own self-esteem. A couple is based on two people and neither is above the other. You have to love yourself , have self-esteem and above all dignity. Don”t let them disrespect you or underestimate you. To have a healthy stable relationship, you have to know when to say yes and when to say no.

Being unloving

Affection is necessary in the couple, not just in the beginning. As time passes, relationships lose fuel and we stop being so attached and it is a mistake. You always have to take care of the relationship.

Poor communication

Communication is very important in a couple. Express feelings, share sorrows and joys. This makes the other person understand you in the best possible way. Lack of communication generates mistrust. Of course, without falling into unnecessary interrogations that would be toxic.


Trust is the basis in romantic relationships. It is good to know how to worry about our partner, to know what to do or who he is with in case something happens, but one thing is that and another is to do an investigation of the police. It ends up being a toxic and unhealthy relationship.

Being unclear or not saying what you think / feel

If you do not express your feelings clearly, it will cause distrust in your partner and we have already seen what this leads to.

Force the situation

When there is no feeling there is not. If you are on a first date and you see that things do not work, do not force it, you can finish hanging out with that person but do not try to fall in love with someone by force because then it will not be real.

In the relationship, when one of the two parties stops being in love, it is best to leave it. Although it is painful for the other person, you cannot be with someone out of compassion. The sooner the relationship ends, the sooner another person who is the final one can arrive.


Shyness does not help at all when meeting people. If you are shy, think that the other person will also feel insecure about their first date or the first time you meet, so it is best to put shyness aside.

Not caring for the relationship

Over time we believe that the relationship has become so strong and stable that no more is needed. As time passes, stable couples form stronger bonds but it does not mean that it is all done. A relationship must be cared for like the first day or it could slowly fade without us noticing.

What can you do to find a partner

We have seen what things to avoid if you want to have a stable partner. Now let”s see what you can do if you are looking for it.

Socialize as much as you can

There is no better way to meet people than to socialize at all times. Going to the events you are invited to or going out is a way of meeting people. There are also groups for singles, widowers or divorced people where activities such as excursions, visits to museums, etc. are carried out, and you can find people like you.

Out negativity

Being negative is not going to help you when it comes to finding a partner. Think that everything comes sooner or later, so don”t think that you will never find love.

Increase your self esteem

As we have seen before, self-esteem is a strong and key point. You have to know how to love yourself to be able to love another person and let yourself be loved.

Use internet

Today the Internet is a very powerful tool to find a partner. There are numerous applications that you can use to search for love where you filter what you are looking for. It”s a very good way to meet people, so don”t be afraid, nowadays more people use it than you think. Who knows if your love is on the other side of the net?

Forget the past

The relationships we have had have marked us in our lives, but do not get stuck in the past. You have to let go in order to start a story again. If you do not feel ready, it is better to wait a little to look for love again.

Be patient

As the phrase goes “Palace affairs go slowly.” Be patient, things come sooner or later and it is best not to force the situation, as we have seen before. Don”t expect to meet someone overnight, you have to go little by little.

Being single no matter how old you are

In the past, being single was something negative, it could be said that the single person (man or woman) was so because he had some defect. The phrase “You are going to stay to dress Santos” or this other “You are going to spend the rice” was heard a lot. Luckily, in the 21st century this has changed. There may still be some loopholes left, but most people understand that being single is not a problem. Today there are married, divorced, widowed or single people, each with their own story.

The most important thing is to love yourself, and it may be a much repeated phrase, but it is the truth. In order to love another person, you must first love yourself, and this does not mean that your ego is through the roof or that you are a narcissist, but that you love and respect yourself above all.

You have to know how to enjoy time alone and yourself. Don”t be afraid of loneliness. Waiting for another person to arrive only makes us create a need that does not exist and that is to be in a relationship. This means that we look for people and we kill anyone who treats us well and has affection.

As we have said before, self-esteem is the most important thing. Toxic relationships arise from the need to be with another person, they make us dependent on others and can end very badly. So if you don”t have a partner, don”t worry, things come when they have to and when you least expect them. And until then, enjoy.


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