In the world there will always be people more beautiful, more slender, more talented, with more charisma or with more money than us, and it is a fact that at any time we will live with them. For some this is not a problem, while others see it as the end of their relationship because they automatically imagine that their partners will be unfaithful, even if nothing justifies these fears.
They have made us believe that jealousy is normal in a relationship, which is a sign of how much we care about the other. We have seen them as a synonym for love, although it is closer to feeling that someone belongs to us and we have authority over that person and their relationships. But it is not normal or healthy to ask the couple or friends to focus their attention only on one in order to give “security”; On the contrary, it is a disorder known as celotipia.
“If he does not shut you up, he does not love you”
Sometimes, and especially in the early stages of the relationship, it is difficult to recognize a pathological jealous person for three reasons: the first is that they can disguise their insecurity to make a good impression; the second is that we have been led to believe that a certain degree of jealousy is “acceptable” with phrases such as “if he does not shut you up he does not want you”; and the third is that we idealize the couple.
As the relationship progresses, the symptoms of extreme affective dependence, low self-esteem and fear of abandonment appear. But although the basis of the celotypia is inferiority (which can cause pity), the poor appreciation that the celotipico has on itself does not justify that you want to control to the point of restricting your freedom to relate to other people or have other interests that have nothing to do with him.
There are two types of celotipia
Obsessive celotypics tend to become obsessed with things, feelings and moments. Many times they realize that their insecurity is unfounded, but they cannot help it. In some cases it is a way to disguise another problem.
And for delusional celotypics any sign, gesture, comment or look, however insignificant, awakens the idea of infidelity. They live looking for evidence that does not exist, but they are real for them.