Two phrases to eliminate so that our children have more success

Bernard Roth, an engineering professor at Stanford University, says that changing two expressions of our vocabulary and, of course that of our children, is essential for more success. It”s about “I have to do” and “but.”

In his book “The Achievement Habit” , Roth says that changes in our way of speaking help us not only to stop thinking about what we want to do to do it , but also to take control of our life, a fundamental teaching for Children from the early stages.

Change ”I have to do” to ”I want to do”

We must teach our children to correct certain phrases such as “I have to go play in the park” by “I want to go play in the park”. It is a very effective exercise for children to be aware of what they do in their lives, both what they like and enjoy and what they find a heavier task such as picking up their toys or doing homework.

Bernard Roth in his book sets the example of one of his students who felt he had to enroll in a math course for his graduate program, however, he hated that course. After performing the exercises proposed by Roth, he realized that despite not liking those classes, the benefit he was going to get was greater than attending those classes he did not like.

And is that language is essential to deal with problems and solve things that in principle seem very difficult. If our children come home thinking about the horror of doing homework , their life will be much more negative and sad than if they arrive thinking about what they want to do, and do it well, not only to end and be satisfied with themselves, but to be able to dedicate The rest of the time to play.

Change the “but” to the “and”

Children and adults often use phrases like “I want to go to the park but it”s raining,” “I want to go out to play, but I have to do homework,” “I want to go to the movies, but I have to work.”

According to Roth, when you use the conjunction “but” you are creating an obstacle that does not really exist. If we replace it with “and” we force our brain to process both parts of the sentence at the same time. It is more positive, it encourages us to achieve what we want to do and strive to achieve it. 

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