Relationships always go through adversities that can certainly be difficult to overcome. They may not know how to do it, become desperate, and often wonder how to overcome a relationship crisis and regain the marriage they had. This may not be easy, nor is it a light decision, however these situations can be the opportunity to mature together and take them to a new stage in the relationship.
How to identify if my relationship with my partner is cold or worn out
Identify when a relationship has worn out:
- It has become quite a routine and habit.
- Your relationship bores you.
- The excitement is gone between you.
- They have become more discussions than passive conversations.
- Other things are more interesting than spending time together.
- There is no more intimacy as a couple.
How to solve my relationship problems in a mature way
Be consistent and don”t try to win in every argument
Certainly, the idea is not to always be right, so many times it is necessary to look at the situation from another perspective to identify the mistakes that each one is making.
It is well known that a relationship is about a team and, therefore, the responsibility of taking care of the well-being of it goes by both parties. So, assuming that sometimes we make mistakes during an argument is healthy and the best option to calm the environment.
The problems of the past treat them honestly
Nobody owns the actions of other people and less within a relationship. Something fundamental that you must do if you want to overcome a relationship crisis is to leave the past behind.
There is no use wanting to bring him back! This will only fuel old annoyances that can no longer be compensated, managing to increase the tension between the two and making communication and intimacy difficult.
Also, leave external problems out of your relationship, it does not bring anything good to unload the frustrations of work with your partner; which is very different from seeking their support and opinion. It is important not to allow alien situations to settle between the two and distance you without a valid reason.
If you have mistaken, acknowledge them!
Making mistakes is natural and nobody can deny that, however we know that the difficult thing is to face them and recognize that we really do make them.
The important thing here is that if what you want is to solve the problems with your partner, you need to start with the problems that you carry with you, do a self-analysis of the failures that harm your life as a couple and accept it in order to move forward.
Time flies, don”t let it go
That is why you should take advantage of every second next to the person you chose one day to share your life and happiness. Well, part of what it means to have a healthy and mature relationship is to put pride aside and not delay crises that still have time to solve.
It is best to attack the problem as soon as it is noticeable and mutually commit to change things for the better.
If more problems arise, go to couples therapy
Sometimes the answers refuse to come alone and no matter how hard you try to find them on your own, it is much more mature to accept that they cannot and to get professional support, trained to guide and help them to listen to and understand each other again.
Communication is one of the most important things
And the sincerest sign of wanting to overcome a relationship crisis from maturity, despite how sensitive and intimidating it can be to expose your concerns and feelings.
It”s completely understandable if the words don”t come out at first. Just remember that they will have to leave before it is too late.
Have that conversation pending now and be honest about what”s wrong with both of you.
If problems are not clarified, they accumulate
Almost scientifically proven, what is not said in time ends up getting stuck in us and nothing worse for a relationship than accumulating problems one after another.
The safest thing is that they will explode sooner or later and when they do, it will not be in the best way or at the right time.
So, what should I do if my relationship is in crisis?
To regain love in a couple or regain a relationship in crisis, you always have to take action on the matter. More than talking and saying what is going to change, the important thing is that it has to be done. Well, in the end that is what it is worth and it makes me rebuild or save a damaged relationship.
Steps to rebuilding a relationship and saving a marriage in crisis
– Eager to resolve the matter. To initiate any change, it is important to have the enthusiasm to want to do it. At least one reason they want to save this relationship in crisis. And as mentioned above it is important that both of you have this motivation.
– Identify what the problem is. Describe the matter together with your partner. Look at your weaknesses and how this is affecting you. Take into account even the smallest to solve it. This way it won”t get much more serious.
– Talk openly about it. Be honest with each other always with great humility and patience. Listen to each other without interrupting or getting ahead of yourself. It is important to rescue effective communication between the two, since they will increase trust and respect in the couple.
– Come up with the solution to the problem. Now that they have determined the issue, it is time to analyze how they will attack you to eliminate it completely and avoid finding yourself in a similar situation. The basis here is the commitment of both parties to their actions.
– Set clear objectives and goals. Get new things to do or achieve as a couple. Since the conflict could be originated by lack of goals as a couple causing a repetitive and boring routine. So, get out of this.
– Reflect, forgive and respect each other. Reinforcing these values will help heal and regain a worn relationship.
– Comply with your change and motivate yourself with humility. Work on bringing about the agreed-upon change and show that you are doing it to save your damaged relationship. Help each other and do not criticize if one of them has fallen in some minor way.
– Resume your intimacy as a couple. Do something different than usual and have fun with it. There are many ways to rekindle that passion between you. And not only with this but also with small gestures of love during the day. Fall in love like at the beginning but with new ideas.
– Surprise your partner with small details and gestures of love. Help each other around the home or shopping and that work is always balanced between the two.
Is it advisable to attend couples therapy?
As we mentioned before, to save a worn-out relationship, it is highly recommended to go to couple’s therapy. Since this will help them to know how to solve and act before this situation or problem. Thanks to the fact that they will have a very professional and objective opinion about it.
Going to therapy with your partner is to have an expert person who will seek with you to resolve personal conflicts that may be had separately and then address the situation and the impact that these conflicts are having on the couple or marriage.
However, remember that each couple is totally unique. So, to attend a couples therapy it should be borne in mind that: both of you must be willing to receive this help and open to listening to the advice you have to give them.
They should choose a type of therapy that suits their needs. And of course, know the type of ability that the therapist has. All of the above in order to ensure the success of each session and seek a solution for your relationship in crisis.
How long does a relationship crisis last?
There really is no specific duration for a relationship crisis, as these are circumstances to which not everyone reacts in the same way. What for you and your partner may be something insignificant, for others it could be decisive to continue or not with the relationship.
However, many times when we find ourselves in a crisis in our relationship the first thought is to let it pass alone; This on the one hand could be seen as a way of not making the problem bigger but in the long run what it will cause is a series of grudges and pride, both harmful to any relationship.
In turn, it is important to be able to discern when a crisis has a solution and when it does not. Well, it also happens that we cling so much in trying to solve a problem that when we realize it, we are in a relationship out of sheer comfort and habit. Without anything that excites or motivates them and, of course, without a true emotional commitment.
Remember: don”t save a relationship that is toxic or abusive.
The stability of your relationship must be built from love, respect and effective communication between the two of you, putting yourself in the shoes of the other, choosing compression before outbursts and keeping a balance between what you can give and what you expect to receive is the recipe to maintain a happy marriage and avoid couple crises.
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