How can I improve my self-esteem after a separation?

Although we perceive it as something negative, it is necessary to go through a process of mourning after a separation in order to heal our wounds and leave reinforced

 

A separation can become one of the most stressful situations that can be lived. It not only involves going through the pain of rupture but also adapting to a life without a partner. For these reasons it is important to pay attention to self-esteem in order to take care of ourselves and protect ourselves. Now, is it possible to improve self-esteem after a separation?

The answer is yes, although for this we have to be aware that a separation implies that the future project we dreamed of has ceased to exist. This means that we have to take charge of our lives to face a new reality that in which we find ourselves face to face with ourselves.

After a separation our life takes a new direction. We are left alone to embark on a new path in which the main protagonist is us. Now, it is normal that in this situation insecurity and nostalgia appear. That is why it is so important to check us to strengthen ourselves and design the route of the new trail. 

Below we recommend a series of keys to improve self-esteem after a separation and to make the recovery process as smooth as possible.

Improving self-esteem after a separation begins with taking care of yourself

The first key to improving self-esteem after a separation is to start taking care of yourself. Caring about how we are, what we feel and what our thoughts are is essential to know where we are.

It is normal that after a couple breakup we feel bad, we think about the other person, we do not feel like anything and we even believe that we will not find anyone to establish another relationship. Now, the important thing is not to focus on looking for another person, but on adequately elaborating the duel to close the chapter and be able to start our reconstruction process. 

Putting an end to that stage will help us improve self-esteem because it will allow us to think about the future, either to see what we want to improve about ourselves or to define what our next personal projects will be.

On the other hand, it is important that throughout this process we do not stop paying attention to ourselves. For this, we can ask ourselves how we see ourselves, what we value about ourselves and what aspects we want to improve.

Taking care of yourself is a priority, both physically and psychologically, especially when it comes to rebuilding. Hence, we have to pay attention to our routines, relationships with others and of course our health.

Elaborate the duel

To improve self-esteem after a separation, it is essential to go through the grieving process. There will be confusing moments, others with a bitter taste and others in which we will gradually improve. It is normal, a break is a change, a confrontation with the unknown. Now, the thing to keep in mind is that this process takes time.

At the end of a relationship, we lose a part of our identity, that which was associated with life as a couple. Instead, a feeling of emptiness begins to appear little by little, an anguish that we do not know or do not want to deal with in most occasions and that in others, leads us to act without thinking.

For this reason, many people choose to start a new relationship with another person. Your goal is to end that deep void. The problem is that despite being a way to lessen the pain of the breakup and distract yourself from the memories that may come to mind, most of the time it”s like wearing a patch. A solution in the short term but that in the long run can have consequences, such as dragging certain aspects, conflicts and difficulties of the previous relationship.

Others prefer to take refuge in social networks to feel desired again, remind themselves that they are not going to be alone or simply avoid suffering. And although this option is not negative, it also has its consequences when the grieving process is left aside.

It is natural to feel pain, feel broken or be disappointed after a break. Our self-esteem has fallen, but we have to raise it by looking at it head-on, instead of avoiding it.

It”s natural to feel sad, but being pessimistic is a choice

Another important aspect to take into account after a breakup is our attitude towards what happened. Thus, if we want to improve self-esteem after a separation, it is essential that we be aware that sadness is a natural emotion in this type of situation. Therefore, instead of rejecting it, the first step is to accept it as part of the recovery process.

Now what happens if we don”t? We will probably be caught in a state of continual discomfort in which, from time to time, the ghosts of the past will appear. Even if the situation lasts a long time we can become depressed. 

The more we try to avoid that sadness, the more likely we are to surround ourselves with a cloud of pessimism and restlessness. Negativity will begin to be part of our lives.  The key is to observe what happened from another perspective, that in which we can learn from what happened to continue growing.

Thus, improving self-esteem after a separation will be possible as long as we look at sadness head-on, but not to bring it down but to understand it and thus be able to heal our wounds.