At the moment when the question arises whether your partner loves you or uses you, all your alarms should go off, since something is wrong. In this article we talk about different cases where this applies.
Do you have doubts about whether your partner loves you or uses you? The beliefs that we have around love cause that, sometimes, it is not understood in the best possible way, causing relationships to become toxic.
A person who believes that loving is depending on another will not be happy. In addition to that you will use your partner in certain ways. For example, you will use manipulation to keep him from leaving your side.
The line that separates love from using the other to obtain love (or something else) is very fine at times. Therefore, it is important that we be vigilant. Not everyone loves, nor does everyone do well. This time, in our space, we delve a little into this topic.
Does he love you or use you to get love?
As we have already said, your partner can use you to get love. Through manipulations, she can make you meet the requirements she or he believes should be loved by everyone.
This usually happens when there is a strong emotional dependency. Your partner can be dependent, therefore, their happiness depends on you. To make her happy, then, you have to do what she or he thinks should be done.
For example, if you think that you always have to do everything together, the moment you demand a little independence in that regard, something in your partner will be activated.
Recriminations, using past problems to throw them in your face or cry can be some of the situations that arise. As well as dramatizing the situation excessively or crying out “you don”t love me anymore!” «.
In this sense, a childhood full of painful experiences, an example of a harmful partner, deep-rooted and erroneous beliefs about love and the fear of staying can only be some of the origins of this behavior.
What is to be done in such a situation? Of course, if you have asked yourself if your partner loves you or uses you in this way and you have answered yes, you should ask for help.
A professional can help your partner return to those circumstances that have caused him to learn in a harmful way how this thing of love is going. Then together you can grow with this experience and move forward with a much healthier relationship.
He doesn”t love me, he hurts me
The answer to the question about whether your partner loves or uses you may not correspond to the previous point. So maybe we have to find out if this is another reason.
There are people who do not know how to love or who do it in a harmful way without being aware of it. This group includes people who use others as if they were objects.
A person who mistreats his partner, for example, seeks to feel superior, authoritarian, exercise power and enjoy the feeling of submitting to another person. Harmful behavior that undermines the self-esteem and integrity of the other person.
In a situation of abuse, whether physical or psychological, there is no love here and this has to be clear. The person who abuses does not know how to love, so he confuses love with these acts that have nothing to do with him.
In these circumstances, you should try to get out of this relationship and ask for help. Sometimes you are afraid and it is normal. However, there is a lot of support around you that you can count on.
Relationships where love is not present
When you ask yourself if your partner loves you or uses you, an alarm should go off. If all were well, this question would not appear in your mind.
What type of relationship do you have and why? Are you with someone who needs you today but not tomorrow? Are you with whom today says “I love you”, but tomorrow slaps you?
Often times, we can become obsessed with that “do you love or use me?” Idea. However, we should also ask ourselves why we are there?
To conclude, being in that situation that is generating doubts is our responsibility. Let”s not forget that we always have the power to decide whether or not we want to perpetuate it.
If you don”t feel good in a relationship, the question about whether your partner loves or uses you doesn”t make much sense. Your feelings are usually right. Prioritize them.
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