Deciding is growing: how to do it better

Indecision affects us all to different degrees, but it can become a paralyzing limitation when it reaches a certain magnitude or affects excessively.

Every day we are given the opportunity to make decisions about different possibilities. It can be small, everyday resolutions or choices that change the course of our lives. Taking time to reflect and rest your ideas is useful and necessary; However, it is also important to accept that, on occasions, it is necessary to take a certain risk in order to advance and overcome changes.

In today”s society there is an underlying urgency for prompt decision: to decide and the sooner the better is considered a desirable value. Sometimes a fast manager is preferred, regardless of the quality of the decisions he makes.

The human being enjoys the freedom to make his own decisions and sometimes this may consist of not making any of them.

It is preferable to act prudently, finding the right moment and assessing the consequences of the decision made, in a way that helps us achieve the desired objectives.

INDECISION AS A DRAG ON MOVING FORWARD

In the short term, continuous indecision can relieve the person of the responsibility of making decisions; However, in the long run, sustained indecision implies worry and internal tension.

In fact, what is most exhausting and stressful is not so much the volume or intensity of the activities carried out but what remains to be resolved, an aspect that most of the time depends on the decisions we must make.

That state, if it is continuous, reduces personal security and makes it impossible to make a determination to do anything.

It is convenient to take responsibility for yourself by getting involved in making your own decisions. That makes us active subjects in our own life.

If deciding is costly, keep in mind that no decision made should be considered rigid enough not to be re-examined later in the light of the circumstances.

When indecision becomes a habit, it can generate:

• Indifference and lack of ambition.
• Constant doubts.
• Concern for pending issues to be resolved.
• Tendency to focus more on the negative side of things, spending time thinking and talking about possible failure rather than focusing on the means to success.
• Procrastination, eternally postponing what should have been faced long ago.

On the other hand, certain factors can lead to indecision and should be borne in mind. Some of the most common are:

• Fuzzy, contradictory or unrealistic objectives.
• Inadequate strategies or resources.
• Novel situations not previously experienced.
• There is an inappropriate time to make decisions.
• Fear of failure
• Lack of self-confidence when dealing with the situation.

WHAT PERSONAL ATTITUDES ENCOURAGE INDECISION?

Certain underlying attitudes can make indecision a constant traveling companion.

1. BE OVERLY REASONING

The desire for security as well as the fear of risk can delay decision-making.

In certain situations, and moments, postponing the decision to seek more information or better alternatives may be appropriate. However, if this process is delayed without providing new data, it can generate a crash.

This arises when so much emphasis is placed on the analysis process that the person becomes stuck in it. The appropriate thing would be to opt for an intermediate point where there is no precipitation or improvisation or unnecessary postponement.

2. BEING TOO MUCH OF A PERFECTIONIST

It is possible to do things in a more appropriate or inappropriate way, but not perfect.

The desire for perfection can lead to continually postponing decision-making.

3. HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Constant indecision can be the product of a lack of self-confidence and personal insecurity, thus giving time the role of deciding for oneself.

Trusting in one”s own possibilities opens up many paths and is the basis for not unnecessarily delaying decision-making.

WHAT IS BEHIND THE FEAR OF CHANGE?

Sometimes leaning towards one or another determination can lead to important changes or consequences. Especially in these cases deciding becomes more expensive, if possible, be it because you are afraid of error or change.

It is normal to feel some concern about the challenges that are presented, the worrying thing would be to live them with indifference. In decision-making, fear can be a stimulus for the search for better alternatives to the dangers or threats that can be anticipated.

But if it is obsessively installed in the mind of the one who has to choose, it has a paralyzing effect, which blocks not only their ability to decide but also to reason clearly and act.

By focusing your concern on problems or threats, that is, on the possibility of failure, you decrease the concentration and energy required to carry out the process that leads to the result.

It is not that failure is not recognized as an alternative that is ultimately always present in any decision, but rather that when it is irrationally anticipated it consumes more energy than the actions that must be carried out.

By making your own decisions, a sense of personal well-being and self-esteem arises. The person feels that they are channeling and leading their life, responsibly assuming the risk of making a mistake.

Total security (“all controlled”, “all supervised”) does not contain any incentive in this sense. It is more profitable to leave a certain chance, uncertainty and spark in life.

WHY IS IT GOOD TO DECIDE?

It is difficult to achieve major achievements with indecision in tow. Overcoming it offers the opportunity to grow with changes and live new experiences.

After studying the situation, it is enriching to open up to the unexpected and unknown, accepting a certain chance or uncertainty inherent in every decision.

By questioning different aspects, we undertake new things and take the helm of our life, avoiding that it is chance or the passage of time that decides for us.

Deciding thus offers a rewarding power. After making decisions, the mind is cleared of doubt, free to concentrate on working on the decision made.

A person who decides reasons about the actions to be taken, trusts in himself and in his projects, dedicating his effort and energy where it is necessary.

Growing up is definitely one of the most enriching facets of life, apart from the illusion that underlies free decision-making. It is important to have dreams, believe in projects, make plans.

Decisions originated with optimism and confidence allow you to learn, get to know yourself and grow.

As Eileen Caddy, one of the founders of the famous Findhorn community in Scotland, points out: “Those who do not take risks can avoid suffering and pain. But they can hardly learn, feel, grow, change, love.”

In life it is not only about making the right decisions, but about what attitude we have to face it and what we do with the options that reality presents us.

HOW TO GAIN CONFIDENCE IN DECISION MAKING?

Movement is demonstrated by walking. We all know how to make decisions, because even the fact of not doing it out of fear or insecurity already implies a decision.

In this field, the best thing is to start by taking small steps:

• Take the time to decide by gathering and analyzing the relevant information.
• Set priorities. Life is a constant confrontation with scenarios where you have to make decisions related to priorities. The essential thing, always, is to ask yourself: why and why am I doing this? If you have a clear definition of priorities, it will be easier to define a situation of uncertainty.
• Write the possible options. What is not written is easy to forget, when writing it can be remembered, improved and kept in mind.
• Divide big problems into small problems and face them little by little.
• It assumes the uncertainty, always implicit, as well as the possibility of error. People who are never wrong, it is usually because they seldom make decisions.
• Get the learning that every mistake entail, making use of it in future decisions.
• Prepare optional plans. What do I do if it happens?
• Start by making less important decisions, or those in which you feel more comfortable and secure (at work, family). As you gain confidence, move on to the ones that you consider more difficult.
• Look to the past. Answering you how it was when you decided something similar.
• Do not make decisions to please others but by your own desire. To choose well you have to feel free.
• Once you have chosen a path, continue advancing through it trusting your instinct for resolution.
• Assess the opportunities each problem contains. By remaining undecided, you always find some problem or concern that prevents you from moving forward; instead, focusing on the potential benefits, seeing the “glass half full,” allows you to be more executive.
• Congratulate yourself and enjoy any little progress.

7 STEPS IN DECISION MAKING

1. Clearly define the situation and the problem. It may be necessary to divide them into several.
2. Determine criteria, being aware that decisions have to correspond to higher goals and consistent with personal values.
3. Think alternatives, without evaluating them.
4. Analyze them, assessing their implications.
5. Choose an alternative, accepting the responsibility that it entails and its possible imperfections.
6. Implement the selected alternative. Once the decision is made it must be put into action, this in turn may require additional decisions as it progresses.
7. Evaluate the effectiveness of the decision. Many decisions can be revised or adapted to new circumstances.