Who does not want to be happy? Who does not want to experience that happiness that we see on social networks? Who does not want to have a good salary, an idyllic love and a full life? We all want it, but do we know what happiness consists of?
Happiness as a concern of being
Although happiness has been a human concern for thousands of years, it is evident that interest increases according to the progress of societies. I cannot imagine a culture where basic needs are not covered as standard, but rather have to be covered by the individuals themselves, worrying about being happier than the neighbor instead of finding food or water.
However, there are studies and theories that affirm that it is precisely in these cultures, the most traditional of African or Philippine tribes, where the greatest happiness is experienced by the social group. It turns out that the less contact you have with modern and technological development, the happier human beings have proven to be.
Why? From my point of view two very important factors come together, we are animals and we do not behave as such, we do not collect, we do not hunt, we do not survive, we only sit at a computer all day to earn a salary that we then spend on saturated fats.
And, on the other hand, we find boredom, that feeling of reluctance that arises when we do not have something that really fills us and we seek to fill that gap in the mall, over and over again, without any success and so it goes. . How about we observe each other? I recommend at this point to read this wonderful article: The happiness of the tribe.
So what is being happy?
Knowing that we are concerned with being happy, let us briefly see what it is to be happy or when the long-awaited happiness occurs.
I define happiness as the feeling of fulfillment, and of mental and spiritual peace, that is experienced when our expectations and reality are in balance. It does not matter if our expectations are high, as long as reality coincides with them; the problem is that we always expect more than what life offers us, more money, more leisure, more time, more obedience from our children, more attention from our partner, more freedom, etc.
Since reality never adjusts to what we expect from it, our happiness never comes.
I want to be happy, what can I do to achieve it?
Happiness has been the subject of study from the Greeks to the present day, various philosophical currents and religions have spoken of it from many points of view and it is an incredibly interesting topic.
Psychology studies happiness as something mental, we look for it permanently in the material and, in my opinion, it is definitely in the deepest and most spiritual. That”s how wonderful and complex the human being is.
But I don”t roll up anymore. Here are the three things you should keep in mind if you want to be happy!
. You must decide
It is a matter of attitude, something you decide right now and start acting from now on as if everything you have was enough for you, as if the potholes did not affect you and the reality was exactly as you expected.
From a young age they teach us, inadvertently, to give more importance to things that we do not have than to those that we have, because if we do not give importance to those that we do not have, we will never achieve them.
If we were fully aware of our reasoning and mental processes, we would find something like: «I am not at all interested in the latest technology, but if I do not give importance to the smartphone that I do not have, I will never have it, and although I am not interested in the least, I have decided that having it is very important to me ».
Very logical, right? Be aware of what you want and why you want it.
Why don”t you completely abandon expectations and decide to be happy right now? Be happy with everything you have and what you lack, with those good times and with those you consider bad, with your relationship, work, family, financial problems, etc. Because yes, they are problems, but you are you, not them. Why would you identify yourself with the negativity of your problems, if they are foreign to you?
- If you want to work for it, the best work at 360º
You are a person made up of three different parts, related and dependent on each other, your body, your mind and your spirit.
If you are going to make changes to achieve happiness, you will have to make them in all three areas , which includes: eating healthier and in fair amounts, having adequate physical activity, nurturing your mind, learning to manage your emotions, working on your communication, Observe your gaps and practice gratitude , mindfulness, and spirituality in whatever way you prefer.
It is of little use that you decide to be happy, if at the first obstacle you find you are going to abandon because you do not have tools to overcome it. If a physical pain afflicts you, you can take measures to alleviate it, instead of regretting it (of course, it depends on your health or disease situation). If you feel overwhelmed by work and stress begins to win over you, face the battle with patience and wisdom, manage yourself, do not fight against reality or against yourself, accept the situation and, as you nurture your mind every day, use the tools learned to overcome stress without affecting your happiness.
Remember that if you give more importance to any of your parts, thinking that happiness is in it, after a while one of your other two parts will come and will remind you, with some problem, that it is also part of you and you should pay attention to it. If you believe that your happiness is in your physical aspect, unknown voids will soon come to you. If you neglect your body in favor of your mind or spirit, ailments will soon make your meditations difficult. It is such a perfect mechanism that everything has to be in balance, that”s how wonderful and complex we are!
- You have to be willing to give your life an extra spirituality
Okay, spirituality is not easy, we confuse it with religion (an aspect that many people reject), it cannot be seen, it cannot be observed with scientific devices, sometimes we do not know or explain what it is or how one feels being spiritual and, in short, it is hardly noticeable to the human eye. However, it is necessary.
Spirituality is key for our inner balance, for the joy of peace and calm, for awareness of the good things that happen to us and acceptance for those not so good.
I”m still not sure if the expression “working spirituality”, which I use a lot, by the way, is well said. Spirituality is not worked, it develops because of our work about specific concepts like mindfulness in the present moment, sensations or emotions, gratitude, intuition, and permission to believe or have faith in ethereal issues that are as personal as they are legitimate.
In this sense, each person believes in what they believe and no one can dispute the existence of their reasons, not even themselves! Although it is difficult to understand, people do not choose what we believe, we believe without making that decision.
How are you related to these spiritual issues? Do you think it is important to nurture the spirit for a state of full well-being?
Sometimes we believe that happiness is something that will come to us when we have finished paying the mortgage, when we achieve the body we want or when the volume of work decreases. Let me tell you something: If you are not happy with what you have, you will not be happy with what you want.
I greatly appreciate your time and attention, it means a lot to me that you read my reflections, share them, comment on them, etc. But further I wish I want to ask you something! Think about it! Being happy is not the same as being happy, analyze the difference, look around you and tell me, don”t you have everything
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